Early warning signs of domestic violence, Part 1
by Dr. Luz Towns-Miranda
The abuse of women by their partners is a serious, sometimes deadly problem that occurs among all classes and races worldwide. It may be happening next to you – a close family member, a friend, your neighbor, your co-worker. It can happen to any female, from adolescence to the elder years. It is important to make yourself aware of the warning signs to keep from being a victim. In this three part series, I will share the YMCA Domestic Assault Program’s (in Kalamazoo, MI) list of questions so you can honestly ascertain if your relationship or someone you know present signs of domestic violence. I will also discuss the dilemma and doubt many victims exhibit and finally, will share ways to get help.
Lets start today with the first set of questions from the Kalamazoo program. Answer each question as honestly as you can.
Let’s talk about your partner:
Does he seem too good to be true?
Does he want to move in together, get married and/or have a baby when you’ve only known each other a short time?
Does he lose his temper suddenly over little things?
Does he break or throw things when he is angry?
Does he abuse alcohol or other drugs?
Did he grow up in a violent family?
Was he abused himself or did his father abuse his mother?
Does he have a criminal record?
Was he abusive to previous girlfriend or wife?
Is he extremely possessive of you – not just of other men but even of your friends and family?
Does he keep tabs on you and want to know where you have been, or who you have been with and why?
Does he expect you to follow orders or advice?
Does he ridicule you, call you stupid or other names?
Does he hold strong traditional role ideas for men and women?
Does he have extreme highs and low moods - often described as Dr. Jekyl /Mr. Hyde- almost as if he were two different people?
Does he play with guns, knives, or other weapons?
Is he cruel to animals?
Is he sexually coercive – insisting on sex even against your will?
Does he treat you roughly or forcefully?
Does he blame other people and external events for his own inappropriate behavior?
In the next installment we will start with a set of questions so you closely at yourself.
If you or someone you know may be a victim of domestic violence, call the
New York State Coalition against domestic violence
24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Hotline
English: 1-800-942-6906 English TTY: 1-800-818-0656
Spanish: 1-800-942-6908 Spanish TTY: 1-800-780-7660
NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline
Spanish language 1-800-942-6908
Spanish language TTY: 1-800-780-7660