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Desma Holcomb (r) and Miriam Frank (l) celebrated their union of more than 20 years last year, after getting married in Connecticut. Their daughter, Ruth Frank-Holcomb pictured here helped to design and bake the wedding cake.
With New York State having officially become the sixth and largest state to legalize same-sex unions this past June 24th, marking a milestone in the gay civil rights movement, the wedding rush appears to be in full swing.
There is no exception to that happy rush in northern Manhattan.
Harlan Pruden, co-founder of the Northeast Two Spirit Society, and Inwood resident, has already applied for a marriage license.
Pruden and his partner of six years, Stephen, will be looking to be married in the now-officially legal ceremony by the end of August, and are planning the celebration of their wedding later. He and Stephen have discussed local venue ideas, perhaps the Columbia Boat House, or a ceremony in Isham Park, but their priority is the legal ceremony.
“Prior to marriage equality, we would be considered strangers to each other,” said Pruden, adding that the legal protections that come with the bill are something that carries power and importance. “We can have our wedding, and plan our party, but now it’s like we are finally equal citizens,” explained Pruden.
He recently bought a co-op with his partner in the Park Terrace Gardens section of Inwood, and with the passage of the bill, he says, they are both looking forward to the legal protections that will come from their marriage, officially.
For Betty Zafiros the famed local florist at Ft. Washington Florist on W. 181st Street and Broadway, the calls have already started coming in.
For Zafiros, who explains that she has been creating centerpieces and arrangements for gay wedding ceremonies for the past 15 years, this is an altogether different experience.
“I have already made some appointments, and people have started calling to ask questions,” she said. “This will be an incredible year for marriage and gay weddings, and I’m really looking forward to it.”
Northern Manhattan boasts a surplus of perfect scenic wedding backdrops, from the open-air settings in Ft. Tryon Park, the Cloisters, High Bridge Park, the Little Red Light House under the George Washington Bridge, and Inwood Hill Park.
There is also New Leaf Café, which has already booked a gay wedding for this November and another one next summer. Tiffany Hogan, event planner at the Café, explains that the emails and phone calls have been pouring in.
“People are definitely interested and we’ve booked some appointments already,” said Hogan.
For many in the gay Latino community of northern Manhattan, the passage of the marriage equality bill was a unique victory.
Carmen Acosta, who moved to Washington Heights from the Dominican Republic in 1965, said she feels like she has left her mark in the neighborhood.
“Gay Latinos also need the respect of society. Marriage equality makes us whole because, whether some in their heart accept it or not, when it comes to strengthening family, legal status is what matters, not what happens behind closed doors,” said Acosta.
An active community organizer and member of the healthcare workers union 1199 SEIU UHWE for the past 11 years, Acosta said the passage of the bill was nothing short of “life changing.”
“Life no doubt has many twists and turns. Some twists will break your spirit, while others will light up your life and provide the strength to carry one,” Acosta reflected. “That happened for me on June 24th at around 10:55 p.m. with the news that NYS Senate had passed Marriage Equality.”
Acosta, who has been in a relationship of 25 years with the mother of two children she calls her “two treasures,” has been a resilient defender of the equality agenda for years.
“When the marriage equality bill passed here in New York, it was a transcending moment,” said Acosta, who now envisions doors opening up, and imagines that the barriers she and her family faced will begin to disappear. “I will have access to opportunities that will enrich our family.”
Like Acosta and her partner, northern Manhattanites Ernie and David Aguilar have also invested years of their lives into a committed relationship, and have built lives together without necessarily being recognized by the state.
The Aguilars have a 9 month-old daughter named Pilar who has completed the family they began building when they were married in California in 2008.
When the equality bill was passed in New York, the two shared an enormous sense of relief.
“Even tough we are already married, having equal marriage rights in our home state makes it a more concrete reality; it makes it better for us,” said Aguilar.
“It’s the comfort of knowing that our daughter will grow up in a place where everyone is equal.”
The question of family weighed heavily on many.
Desma Holcomb and Miriam Frank, long-time residents of Washington Heights, raised their daughter Ruth Holcomb-Frank in northern Manhattan. For many years they grappled with legal definitions of parenthood that defined Desma as the parent and Miriam as a virtual stranger.
“Because we have a daughter, it was a different journey for us. Our property, and guardianship issues, were only some of the things that if you’re in a heterosexual marriage, you just don’t worry about,” said Frank, a professor at New York University. “Now there are some things we no longer have to define.”
For this local family, the passage of the bill was a long time coming. Although they decided to be legally married in Connecticut last year, after years of organizing, petitioning, and supporting the equality agenda locally, the news felt like a success after all their hard work.
Ruth Holcomb-Frank, 20, who spoke at a celebration of marriage equality hosted by State Senator Adriano Espaillat last Sat. July 2nd, explained, “After the legal ceremony, we had a Jewish wedding at Hebrew Tabernacle. Watching my parents, who had been together for twenty-four years, finally celebrate their love in front of all our friends and family was a moment I will never forget.”
“We have a daughter, we have a mortgage, we had a civil union, years ago when it was the only thing allowed. We decided to get married in Connecticut because New York recognizes out of state marriages,” said Frank. “We are happy for all our friends, those who have kids, no kids, maybe they have cats. But we’re happy to know that they’re getting ready to plan their wedding too.”
As far as those wedding plans, other local favorites include the Garden at the Ft. Washington Collegiate Church, whose sister church downtown officiates gay wedding ceremonies. Although it has not been confirmed yet, the uptown branch is anticipating to begin officiating the ceremonies as well.
“We have not received the official go-ahead, and our summer months are a bit slow. But our congregation is very open and we welcome everybody,” said a spokesperson for the Ft. Washington Collegiate Church.
It is also a special time for the younger generation who looks to the future. For those who have grown up in a somewhat more accepting and welcoming climate, especially in a City like New York, the bill’s passage has in many ways been one of the cornerstones of the movement.
That unique Friday night was not just another night for drinks at the local bar.
For Melique Williams, 27, resident of Washington Heights for the past three years, the night started just a tad later. “My friends and I were getting ready to go out that night. We waited and watched the votes and debates on television,” said Williams. “This is a historic moment. With New York legalizing same sex marriage, it provides so much momentum for the rest of the country to follow suit.”
For Jim Swimm, 40, resident of Inwood for the past six years, the news came after years and years of advocating for equality.
“When I first heard the news, my heart swelled,” said Swimm. “While this issue affects the lives of so many of us here in New York, it has been a very personal crusade for me.” Watching the live television feed that night, Swimm said that seeing the moving speeches was empowering.
“I went to bed on Friday feeling one way, and woke up on Saturday feeling like a different person,” said Pruden. “The biggest thing is that domestic relation legislation affords you a lot of protections.”
Although the wedding rush here in northern Manhattan is in full swing, the significance of the bill exceeds the importance of any party or celebration.
As Frank put it: “A wedding is a wonderful thing, it’s sacred. But it’s also a legal entitlement we can all now enjoy.”
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